One more song

And I am sitting alone here in my bed, I’m waiting for an answer I don’t know that I’ll get ( I don’t really know if I want to know it). I can’t stand to look in the mirror. I’m failing. 

Maybe it’s true; these days are trying to define me. I have no necessity to explain me, but I need to make up my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be asking too much to life, is it really so complicated? Or it’s just me? Am I in the right place, at the right moment? I can’t stop asking, but I have no answer. I’ve been always thinking that all the things I do, all the things that happen… everything happens for a reason, for a good reason. Destiny (it’s called). It doesn’t matter what you do, because everything is gonna be alright. But maybe I’m not really sure if it’s that what I want, maybe I’m not so happy with all of this. Should I…? Probably. But there we go again, human nature, hateful human nature. Now I’m raving (hangover?). I could write for soo long a lot of meaningless sentences, and even doing that, I couldn't stop seeing this yellow lemon tree.

Seriously, I’m expecting the world, but it’s flying away from my reach; so, what can I do? Just close my eyes, in the stormy night, and dream of paradise… I used to lie underneath the summer skies, imaging me around the world, and in the bad days I used to think:  “I know the sun will set to rise”. I really hope so. And then the daylight comes, and I hate myself for do/think that, and the worst part of this is that it’s not the last time I’ll fail, because there’s a devil in the details. No matter what tomorrow brings, I’ll be always awake and fighting, trying hard to go on.

One day, somebody asked me: before the end of today, what would you wish to happen? And where would you wish to wake up tomorrow? And I think that I can answer both with just one word: paradise. Or maybe two: MY paradise. What’s that? Where’s it? Who…? That’s what I’m trying to define, the most important thing in the humans’ life is to create your own paradise, and to live in there, with people you choose, people you want; but not just that. You have to define what you want to get. Dreams. And never ever stop fighting, never give up. And only that day, this could be paradise. Just my paradise.